It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
This house was built for laser tag.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
