She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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