Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
