so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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