her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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