If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
