omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
