Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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