oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
