Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize