I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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