What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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