areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
