Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
