Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
