Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
