hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize