I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
