Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
