Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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