I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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