Will you blow on my dice?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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