Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she peed on how many people?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
