put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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