you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The uberlube is also flammable
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize