So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
