So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Randomize
