it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
