I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize