Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
