i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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