Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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