I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
there is glitter all over my balls
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