Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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