found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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