He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
