Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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