Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
