she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize