it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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