Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
