so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
