scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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