its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
