after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I fill condoms, not promises.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
