Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize