If i come over, it means nothing
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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