You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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