who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
