I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
