Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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