I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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