I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
