her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
