I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
