Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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