Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
