that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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